There is a well-known psychological effect that may be causing you problems with attaining your fitness goals.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

• The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled people make poor decisions and reach erroneous conclusions, but their INCOMPETENCE denies them the metacognitive ability to recognise their mistakes.
• The unskilled therefore suffer from illusory superiority, rating their ability as ABOVE AVERAGE, much higher than it actually is, while the highly skilled UNDERRATE their own abilities, suffering from illusory inferiority.
• Actual competence may weaken self-confidence, as competent individuals may falsely assume that others have an equivalent understanding.
•  Kruger and Dunning conclude, the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others.

The effect is about paradoxical defects in cognitive ability, in oneself and others.

So what that all means is that there are two sides to this effect, both causing you stress.

The second side, has to do with you DOWNPLAYING your own competence because you ASSUME that everyone else is just as competent or BETTER.

This is very important to note.

The first side deals with that fact that most Coaches have NO COMPETENCE, especially when it comes to explaining “why” things work. Sure, they can get results, but lets be honest, getting results from an obese, unfit person isn’t exactly rocket science. However, the INCOMPETENCE comes when they try to EXPLAIN WHY IT WORKED.

Now, take the INCOMPETENCE of the Coach and couple that with your ASSUMPTION that others are just as competent or more competent than you are and you have a mis-understanding of epic proportions.

In other words, the Coach vastly OVERESTIMATES their own competence and ability while you vastly UNDERESTIMATE
your own competence and ability.

So even though have the knowledge to figure it out – you keep searching for the secret, because you ASSUME that somehow they all know something that you don’t!

Can you see how stressful that can be?

This isn’t just related to health and fitness either.  It’s prolific, everywhere. You could even say governments are being run like this.

The point is, just be very aware when you’re slipping into this Dunning-Kruger effect.

It’s like quicksand.

The only way to escape, is to calm down, quit struggling and let yourself float back up to the top 

A common thought that most people have, whether they admit to it or not, is: “Okay, I’ve mapped out my goal and I’ve planned my workouts, but how do I make progress? I do well for a couple days but then I fall off track.”

It’s actually pretty simple if you implement these two practices: deadlines and accountability.

You need to set in place your own deadlines for the goals that you want to achieve. Deadlines force you to get serious, to meet your targets, and to own up when you’re not staying true to your plan. Without firm deadlines it’s too easy to make excuses, to get caught up in endless procrastination loops, or to sidetrack yourself with busywork that has nothing to do with your goal.

The thing about deadlines, though, is that you actually have to mean it. It’s no good setting deadlines if you’re going to fluff them off every time. “Your word is law.” If you commit to it, you get it done. It doesn’t matter if you have to walk across the Sahara. It doesn’t matter if your friends are unhappy that you just don’t see them as much. You’ve made a commitment to yourself. Now stick to it. That’s where accountability comes in. You need some way to keep yourself accountable.

Don’t fall into the trap of lying to yourself and dreaming up fantasies about things you’ve never really done. Memory is fallible, and it’s easy to convince your imagination you’re accomplishing more than you really are, just because you’re”working on it.” A system of accountability gives you a way to track your progress. It encourages you when you achieve success and it brings “My word is law” into the physical, because you’ve written it down in your training diary, posted it online or told another person.

Implement these two simple practices and you’ll be amazed at the progress you make.

Are you going to be the person that talks about their dreams, or will you get down to work and actually live them?

Take your goals, write them down and come up with one simple method for keeping yourself accountable. Then set your first deadline and get
started.

There’s nothing holding you back.

“If you have the willpower to make the change, our system can work wonders for you.”

… which is rubbish.

In essence, this basically gives the company a free pass to blame you whole-heartedly if you don’t get results from their product.

Listen, if your “plan” requires willpower, it is…

100% DOOMED TO FAIL

Here’s why.

“Willpower” means a reactive state

Making positive change requires a PROACTIVE state.

Think about the last time you “reacted” to something.  Maybe someone annoyed you, maybe you said something you shouldn’t have and you regret it.

When you react, things NEVER go the way you want them to.  Ever.

So instead of trying to willpower your way through all of this, be proactive and control the environment that controls you.

Because that’s the unsaid reality between those that get results and those that don’t.

People that get results are just BETTER at controlling the environment that controls them.

For example:

A “willpower” person will buy snacky cakes at the store for “just in case”…

… knowing full well that the whole box will be gone TONIGHT – and then wonder what’s wrong with them.

A “willpower” person will go to the gym WITHOUT A PLAN, and in the process, not do anything because the machines are taken, or the dumbbells are broken.

Neither of these examples will ever get results.

“Willpower” people also try to do it all themselves.

Now, lets counter this with someone that’s being proactive about their environment.

They KNOW their trigger foods, so they make the easy choice and not have them in the house.

They KNOW their workout plan for going into the gym each day, which helps them stay FOCUSED on the task at hand.

They also KNOW that bouncing ideas and strategies off of other people IN THE KNOW multiplies their success and helps keep them on track.

Don’t spend the bulk of your time trying to control yourself.  Instead, focus the bulk of your energies on controlling YOUR ENVIRONMENT.

And that is why the great willpower myth is holding you back from the results you deserve.

Are you currently serving in the US Military?

Do one of these statuses apply to YOU?

• Active Duty
• Reservist (drilling)
• National Guard (active)
• Inactive Res/Guard (not drilling)
• Retired Military
• Veteran/Prior Service
• Parent/Legal Guardian
• Surviving Spouse and Family
• Spouse / Active
• Spouse / Veteran

If so, then it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that you take a few minutes to look at this unique ‘one of a kind’ website that has literally just been launched.

Failure to do so could mean you are losing out on THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in compensation and benefits!

It’s called ‘Military Benefits Report’

As the name suggests, it helps people who are connected with the US Military (active, veterans, families etc) find individual benefits, programs
and services at Federal, State, Local and Private levels… …benefits (mainly financial) which most of the time, they didn’t even realize they were entitled to.

What these benefits ARE is completely dependant on a VAST number of ranging factors such as age, state, military status and so on – and that is EXACTLY the
problem!

Because of the complexity of the US system, it is VERY difficult to find out precisely what you should be getting and as a result, a colossal number of military folk are missing out on what they are entitled and deserve to receive!

‘Military Benefits Report’ SOLVES this problem.

Here’s what you do:

Go to the website, enter your details, and fill in the answers to a few simple questions.

(you’ll see a continually changing cumulative total of the potential financial compensation or savings as you are doing this!)

When you have completed all the questions, the system will produce a customized PDF report specifically tailored to YOU, detailing all of the benefits, services and programs that you are
entitled to – and how to get them!

Try it now….

It only make a minute, is super easy and COULD be worth a fortune to you and your family!

… but the truth is, that’s really not the case.

In reality, you only need a dose of “Inevitability Thinking” and lessons in “Hot State Management”, which is where the whole Breakthrough to Success concept
comes from.

Remember, a plan based 100% on willpower is 100% doomed to fail.

Willpower is REACTIVE.

Hot State Management is PROACTIVE

When you’re in a reactive state of mind, you feel victimized and out of control.

Don’t do that to yourself.

There’s a much better way…

Have you ever been told that “you’re not a MAN unless you can do [insert desired goal here] or in order to be successful you must do [insert desired goal here] ?

How fair is that?

Did you know that most magazines and websites only serve to BEAT YOU DOWN and make you feel bad about yourself?

Think about it.

You go to find out how to eat better, lose weight, acquire wealth, and the next thing you know… you now feel WORSE about yourself than you did before…

… BUT WITH NO NEW SOLUTIONS.

Because the underlying premise in each article or blog post you read is:

“Unless you do this, you suck as a human being”

Oh, but then you read something else, that says something different, yet the premise is still the same… if you don’t do it this way, you’re a poor example of a human being.

So here’s what ends up happening.

You start out looking for a way to look better, maybe improve your health, make more money, and all in all, just be more successful…

… then the next thing you know, you’re spending 4 hours a day online in “internet arguments” trying to prove you’re “right” about something, while your real world relationships crumble and you still don’t look any better.

Oh, and now you’re broke as shit because your life is now one big online argument.

Then one day, you wake up and ask yourself:

“How in the world did this happen?”

GOAL HIJACKING, my friend… goal hijacking.

Moral: Make sure your actions are based on YOUR GOALS and what YOU want. Anyone that’s trying to challenge your “manhood” is likely broke. Trust me on that.

Often we get in a rut, being a follower.  You rarely distinguish yourself from others, usually earning average income and often feeling like you are struggling to be noticed in life.  What’s the difference between followers and leaders?

Followers

• It’s hard for others to tell you apart from your competition
• Your customers are typically looking for the cheapest price when shopping for your service
• You depend on one stream of income
• You count the hours till the end of the day
• You never feel that you are paid for what you are worth and earning a 7 figure income is a dream
• You feel invisible, not noticed by anyone
• You are always asking “What Can YOU Do for ME?”
• You’re a ‘doer’, stuck in the daily grind doing task after task
• Most of your business relationships are transactional and “one-off”
• You talk about changing the world

Leaders

• You’re the first choice for customers in your niche because you stand out as a leader in your field
• Your customers are prepared to pay above average rates for the unique value they receive from you
• Using the power of leverage, you have multiple streams of income
• You’re fired up, passionate and love what you do
• You have a clear path and plan to earn a 7 figure income and you’re on your way to earning it… or you already do
• You’re a shining light in your field, your customers seek you out and your peers look up to you
• You’re always asking “What Can I Do For YOU?”
• Your work is an extension of your soul and your big vision leads to big action
• You have a wealth of sustainable, long term relationships that support your objectives
• You ARE changing the world.  You make a difference every day through your message, resources, connections and influence

It’s written by Alan Stein who is a very successful basketball strength and conditioning coach.

Winning is a habit. Unfortunately so is losing. Keep the following contrasts in mind—and strive to always be a winner.

• Winners are confident. Losers have doubt.
• Winners hustle. Losers loaf.
• Winners praise others. Losers complain.
• Winners listen. Losers talk.
• Winners are accountable. Losers point the finger.
• Winners are enthusiastic. Lowers lack passion.
• Winners are great teammates. Losers are selfish.
• Winners never quit. Losers give up.
• Winners have focus. Losers are lazy.
• Winners have discipline. Losers are weak.
• Winners are loyal. Losers are self-centered.
• Winners have urgency. Losers put things off.
• Winners have pride. Losers don’t care.
• Winners are coachable. Losers already know it all.
• Winners prepare their minds and bodies to win on a daily basis. Losers don’t.
• Winners do what losers don’t want to do.

Are you a winner?

by Alan Stein

• Find a greater fear: The best way to overcome people pleasing is to find the source of the problem and then counteract it with an opposite and stronger emotion.  What is people pleasing keeping you from doing or being?  Figure this out and then use that knowledge to empower yourself.
• Stop saying yes until you can accurately separate the real need from the non-essential: After years of putting our YES reaction on autopilot, we may find it hard to determine the validity of the incoming requests.  The only way I know to get over this is to practice saying No’s.  During this process, be sure to remind yourself that even those valid needs that you are turning down will be addressed by another.
• Let go of your need to control: Believe it or not, one of the strong characteristics of a people pleaser is the need to control EVERYTHING.  If anything, our pleasing ways are nothing more than a subtle manipulation to retain control of the situation.  We are trying to control what others think of us and how they act toward us.  This leads us to feel that we are also responsible for every need that comes our way.  It’s impossible that we should take on each request that comes our way.  Even those that are truly sincere and equally valid, are not necessarily the needs we are supposed to address.  Over time, as we begin to see clearly once again, we will be able to accurately address those needs that are specific to our nature.  The rest we will redirect elsewhere, confident that they were not meant for our attention.
• Get PROACTIVE: This is CRUCIAL!  As people pleasers, we are so overwhelmed as we take on every request of assistance that comes our way, that we have no time or energy to address the issues that WE see as fit for our attention.  Think about how CRAZY this is!  What we are essentially doing is assuming that everyone else’s idea of our time well spent is more accurate that our own.  We need to figure out for ourselves what needs we should be addressing and then go out and address them.  Stop waiting for the world to dictate your attention and start attending to the needs you were meant to address.

There’s nothing wrong with pleasing people, as long as you have control over why you are pleasing them.  Making sacrifices for the sake of another isn’t wrong.  But the fact is, people pleasing isn’t about pleasing others, but fending off our fear of rejection.  A lot of people pleasing is individuals who have a need to be accepted by the world around them.  It’s a need not just for general acceptance, but for acceptance from each person they come in contact with.  It can become a madness, seeking to please with abandon.

In the long run, you’re pleasing nobody.

The great failure of people pleasing is that these people rarely are assertive for themselves. They try to make everybody happy and end up absorbing the hurt of others. They then punish themselves over pleasing everybody and end up pleasing nobody.  Tired from the burnout that comes from the over extension of themselves and frustrated by the fact that they keep letting others take advantage of them, they quickly become ineffective in helping others and often times end up resenting everyone around them.   They also lose the ability to identify a real need from that of someone trying to take advantage of them.  As a result, they can become very hurt people, and very lonely.

Do you fear failure?

I tell you, the source of your frustration in life has been the result of people pleasing.  It’s one thing to fail because you make a mistake, but when you miss out on opportunity because you were too busy trying to make things right with the world, you find a frustration that is not easily matched.

It will take your zest for life.  You try to blend with every personality you come in contact with and, as a result, your own personality fades.  What makes you, YOU, is your own blend of Yes’s and No’s.  It’s your beliefs, values and preferences that gives you your life.  Lose this and you lose yourself.  Don’t forget what you’re all about.

Signs of a People Pleaser

• Someone who says yes, even when their mind says no.
• Someone who is devastated when they think someone doesn’t like them.
• Someone who would rather feel personal pain than displease another.
• Someone who cringes at the first sign of friction.
• Someone who is willing to fail in the name of pleasing another.
• Someone who has lost their own sense of unique personality and belief.
• Someone who is not willing to speak up for themselves.
• Someone who loses sleep over the slightest altercation with another.
• Someone who feels out of control when they think another human being may disagree with what they’re doing.
• Someone who starts to see their desire to please others as a separate part of themselves.  Separate from the rest of who they are as an individual.